Once I received a financial blessing from someone that in hindsight I should have said – Oh thank you for thinking of me and my circumstances but I have got it covered thanks anyway – and left it at that. The reason being it was not a gift, it was a purchase and it gained them spiritual access to what I was doing in missionary training, we became partners. Out of this partnership they where allowed spiritual access to my environment and when they came they brought all their judgement and opinions in with them. Since they are not perfect yet they actually destroyed my time with the organisation and it has born no good fruit and I have had to step away from them as well. At this moment in time from the lesson learnt about not receiving from those that are purchasing me I have walked away from an Apartment in Perth, one in Sydney with a car, a rental in Sydney on the foreshore, a farm in rural New South Wales, in among other things. A lady told me yesterday that I was called to “wrestle” for the blessing just as Jacob had to in Genesis 32:24-30. The ‘gift’ that cursed my time in that place also cursed my finances, I am actually very good with money, it is a stewardship that I have always taken seriously and have never spent more than I could afford, always the cheque book balanced.

Until I had some religious people parasitically attached themselves to my life, then I used a credit card and got into trouble just to escape, I still owe that debt. Anyway, the method that the Father chose to use to show me who to bless and who just to leave alone was with the Restorative Centre when it was finally up and running, I would have been given a list of names and those that it was time for them to be there I would have selected, those that it was not their time to come would have been turned away. Blessing is such a difficult thing, it either makes people reliant on you or turns them into ego maniacs who want to rule you – not naming names – at this moment in time all that I can think of is a house somewhere, not Australia, that I can chose to open the door to or – not … I really cannot tell in London what is a gift and what is not and a darkness surrounds me here and those that I should be connected with also. It is such a thick darkness that we cannot see each other even when we are 10 feet apart such is the power of the curses surrounding my life. Again it is the log sin being projected onto me that is hindering me, I will not make it easy for you to bless me, you must wrestle with your own sins and uncleanliness and lack of love for me in order to bless me. I will not receive from everyone who offers, certainly not family but I do need to be in a safe place to love others from.

66 Commercial Street, London E1 6LT

And this is the confidence (the assurance, the privilege of boldness) which we have in Him: [we are sure] that if we ask anything (make any request) according to His will (in agreement with His own plan), He listens to and hears us. And if (since) we [positively] know that He listens to us in whatever we ask, we also know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that we have [granted us as our present possessions] the requests made of Him.

1 John 5:14-15 AMPC

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