It must be my Australian Baptist upbringing but I am not sure why most Christians do not bring what ever they cannot deal with emotionally or with their intellect to the Cross. My heart humbly comes before the Father and just share, this is to much for me my God, I offer it to your grace and lay it at Your cross where you said, It Is Finished. There has only been one instance in the last 10 years or so that I have not been able to do this as a default instinctive action and that was when a pastor (one that I had never even had a conversation with) decided that he was a part of my journey and in his interruption of my life and ministry in his selfishness I watched what I was created to do in that part of my life fail, millions of people lost destiny and callings in Christ Jesus at that very moment. My grief was so enormous that it converted into a righteous anger towards this immature man and those that agreed with his idea and fantasy. If he was called to be a part of my vision I would have seen him as being one of the three fold cord. We where never called to any form of relationship at all. Please be careful who you join with for the wrong people can tip the balance from good to evil when Satan distracts and sidetracks another from the vision God gives them for their own lives and adds them without your consent to your vision.
Satan offers things that seem good to try and replace or take over the most excellent that God offers us. When I asked the Father what would have been the outcome of taking this man and a few others on the restorative journey as I had vision of, I just saw a crashing and destruction after about 2 weeks of being together and my being stranded in the UK, kicked off my own bus under this silly mans religious ideas of leadership. Foolish immature works and actions by these people. Even to this day they think they are going to connect with me. The waste of time and life is appalling, I forgive you and leave you in your manure of your doctrines that will not hear a “No”. The laying down of this period of my life at the Cross has been very difficult, for he was not the only one who desired to change the people who where intended by the Father to go on it. indeed people are still acting as though it is a truth and speaking over me and my path fraudulently, So, I would ask that you – Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you] Romans 12:2 AMPC . And peace and grace and wisdom that is from the will of heaven for all of you involved in this sabotage of destiny and vision. I lay your works down at the Cross on all our behalves and surrender you in body, soul, spirit, that your free will can and will match the will and vision for yourselves from heaven and that your destiny will be realigned to the fullness of the wisdom and counsel of God for you in this new season with its new ideals and new attitude that does not smother the life of another in its selfish ambition, for it to be under the blood of the Lamb and that the anointing of the Holy Spirit in grace be upon you to the fulfillment of this word, In Jesus Name. You are forgiven by me at least, what you do from here on out is between you and the god you serve. The safe place that I needed to get to so that I could re-calibrate it and restore some sort of vision for my future has been denied to me also. There has been no peace as people have constantly harassed my life with soulish prayers and desires that come from faulty hearts (Diamonds) and every where I look there are those that have been raised up as “suitors” for me so they can control me through marriage. Some are beautiful men who have been seduced by the antichrist spirit into believing they are my soul partners and have themselves been taken off track or righteous God given path. Some of these men are happily married until the weight of the cursing comes upon them. At the moment I feel very much like I am between the pillars as Samson was, the past and its stupidity to my left, the future religious people have tried to doom me to on the right and the oppression of the fraud you have constantly put upon me has briefly blinded me spiritually, God will crash your churches if you keep attacking the work of God through me with your ideas that have nothing of God in them and never have had. Use this moment to allow the cistern of your life to be filled with holy living water based on my faith, not yours, allow it to refresh and refill you with passion and love and joy and delight in Christ Jesus as you seek His face for the fulfillment of the destiny you where given when you where created in your mothers wombs, that all counterfeit visions and destinies would be equally under the blood of the Lamb and washed up and out of you as your connection with the God of heaven is restored to a fullness and a purity, In Jesus Name. Amen.